MACHETE SCREENIT CRACK

(Note: The 'Our Take' review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFOĬurious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? DON JOHNSON plays a self-appointed vigilante and border protector who kills illegal immigrants when they cross the border.She's an exhibitionist (appearing nude for video), uses strong profanity, and briefly smokes. LINDSAY LOHAN plays Booth's wild-child daughter who he rescues from a drug house.CHEECH MARIN plays Machete's father, a Catholic priest who's recorded confessions he feels might be important, is handing with killing bad guys, and uses strong profanity.He kills various people, sets up Machete, and uses profanity. JEFF FAHEY plays McLaughlin's secret advisor and assistant who also works for Torrez in trying to the manipulate the immigration issue for maximum business profit.MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ plays a woman who runs a taco stand but is really the genesis for the legendary immigrant leader known as 'She.' She also helps illegals cross the border into the U.S., and kills various people.STEVEN SEAGAL plays a drug lord who's behind the desire to control the American-Mexican border and kills or is responsible for the killing of others.ROBERT DE NIRO plays a Texas state senator who's running for reelection on an anti-immigrant platform (he goes so far as to shoot one such person crossing the border).She uses strong profanity, drinks to the point of intoxication, and kills various people. Her focus, though, is on Luz and then Machete, although her involvement with them soon changes her by-the-law stance. JESSICA ALBA plays an immigration field agent who's cracking down on illegals despite her being a past immigrant herself.He cavorts sexually with various women, uses profanity, and kills many people. After being recruited and then set up by Booth to kill McLaughlin, he sets out to get revenge on those who've wronged him. DANNY TREJO plays a former Mexican federal agent who, after losing his family to Torrez, now works as a day laborer in Texas.WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: R For strong bloody violence throughout, language, some sexual content and nudity. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? Those looking for an action-comedy that pushes the boundaries may be enticed, as might anyone who's a fan of someone in the cast and/or writer/director Robert Rodriguez. With Booth - when not dealing with his wild-child daughter, April (LINDSAY LOHAN) - and others hunting him down, Machete sets out to clear his name and bring down those responsible for wronging him.

Yet, once she learns of Machete's past as a fellow law enforcement officer, she decides to bend and break her own rules to help him, as does his priest brother, Padre (CHEECH MARIN).

MACHETE SCREENIT CRACK

A former immigrant herself, she's now trying to crack down on illegals who are crossing the border.

Rumors about her being the legendary 'She' have drawn the attention of Sartana (JESSICA ALBA), a field agent with the Department of Immigration and Customs Enforcement. As various people go on the hunt for him, he gets help from Luz (MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ), who runs a taco stand but is actually the leader of an underground organization known as the Network that's designed to help assimilate illegal immigrants into the U.S. The latter is running for reelection on an anti-immigration platform, drawing the support of Von (DON JOHNSON) and other like-minded Americans who've formed their own militia and have taken border patrol into their own hands.īut the assassination is really a set-up designed to make McLaughlin look like an injured martyr and Machete as yet another dangerous Mexican. Now a day laborer in Texas, he's spotted by Booth (JEFF FAHEY) who thinks he'll make a good assassin to kill Texas State Senator McLaughlin (ROBERT DE NIRO). PLOT: Machete (DANNY TREJO) was once a renowned Mexican federal agent who ran afoul of drug kingpin Torrez (STEVEN SEAGAL) and lost his family as a result. QUICK TAKE: Action/Comedy: After being set up as an assassin hired to kill a conservative Texas politician who's running for reelection on an anti-immigration platform, a former Mexican federal agent sets out to get revenge on those who've wronged him.

Machete screenit